My Chinese name

In seven months, we are moving to Beijing. For real. I have so enjoyed being back in Canada, working in my field, being close to friends and family, that I have been putting off the necessary preparations for our move. Namely, I need to learn some Mandarin. My husband has been doing so for a year and a half. His dedication is exemplary. He has offered numerous times to teach me, but I have been closed off. I’m afraid of starting then forgetting it. I like to dive completely into something to learn it, especially since this amounts to a fourth language for me, one that I find very daunting. But if I don’t get started, it will make my adaptation that much more difficult. So I am trying to change my attitude. To be more open even though it’s not easy. It’s all because I grow roots. I get attached to places, things and people. It takes me a while to upend those roots and plant them elsewhere. 
This is my Chinese name. ‘Wen’ is a beautiful word, it means litterature, words, culture. ‘Sha’ written in this manner has the character for grass and water (my element) and means gentleness among other things. For me it means my roots, the part of me I carry around the world. ‘Wen Sha’ is Vanessa. I think my name is beautiful in Chinese and that there will be more inspiring words like this. So I should get over the obstacles that I am putting in my own way and just start,