Hello lovely Messians (and anyone else who comes around here)! As most of you know, I just returned from a trip to Seoul where I got to hang out with Lauren. We had a great time hosting a webinar all about travel documenting. Some of you may also know that I lost my rings, a Bloodmilk moth ring and my one-of-a-kind wedding ring. I didn’t have my art journal with me so these pages were made once we returned home.
This spread mixes a few techniques, prompts and tutorials, mainly two contrasting self-portraits and ideas of great joy/great sadness and great heights/great depths.
I realize that losing one’s rings isn’t the end of the world. I realize that I am blessed because we are together and we have our health and our children are great and all the other good things. But I am sad that the person who found them didn’t hand them in. I am sad that this object that embodies so much from me is being worn by someone else (or sold off or whatever) and I am mad at myself for leaving them by the sink after I washed my hands.
So my pages this week are tainted by these conflicting feelings of loss and sadness and anger.
And here is the thing: it’s ok to feel things deeply. To spend time in those feelings because they help you to get better. I am in no hurry to pretend that it’s ok, because I don’t feel like being false or rushed in this process.
This spread comes from EmK’s tutorial on contrasting colours and also Amy’s repeating circles lesson. And this is what I am expressing. Feeling sad that I have to once again let go of something that is so important to me is legitimate. I am allowed to be heartbroken by this.
The butterflies are my symbol for change but oh oh oh is it hard to let this one go. Haven’t I sacrificed enough? Am I just trying to find meaning in a meaningless accident, a silly event that really isn’t a life lesson? But how can I not think that when that ring was so important to me?
There was a lot of us in that ring. We mined the amethyst ourselves, my husband designed it, it was a surprise and it fit me perfectly, etc. But in the end what hurts more is that the person just left with them when it is pretty clear that ring was important to someone. So my grieving process goes on.
Immersing myself in the sublime following Elizabeth’s tutorial was wonderful and healing.
I spent some in silence doing this and just lost myself in color and symbols.
I hope your week was a good one and that you found joy in it. I know I will get back there, but for the moment, I’ll tend my garden and recuperate.
Thank you for coming by.
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